February Funny Friday

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Funny Friday  150 X 150

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by Sanity Waiting to Happen     http://www.angelaweight.com

ff-February

1. Did someone say this was the way to the cattic?

2. I am pretty sure I stored the other 8 lives up here somewhere……

3. Stair master.

4. “You go on ahead, imma just wait here.”

5. Sorry these weren’t very funny. I am more of a dog person.

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:

The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

Follow me home

Baking In A Tornado

Someone Else’s Genius

Confessions of a part-time working mom

The Momisodes

Sanity Waiting to Happen

Spatulas on Parade

Cluttered Genius

Stacy Sews and Schools

People Don’t Eat Enough Fudge

Love and Debris

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LoveAndDebris

My small children are asleep, silence fills our home. But, if you lean in, listen carefully, you can hear the cacophony of our day. You can hear the laughter and the tears. You can see the smiles. You can see that we came screeching into bedtime covered in debris.

Love and debris.

Have you ever wanted to freeze a moment? Wanted to be able to access those few seconds and gather strength from them?

I may not be ready for the silence to take over. I may not be ready for the nights to become my own. So, for now, I embrace the noise. I find the tiny moments of calm and silence and use them to recharge me for the rest of the beautiful chaos.

Head over to Mamlode.com or click HERE to read more about my tiny moments of tranquility amidst the feral nights of having two young children.

LoveAndDebris

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

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OutOfTheMouthsOfBabes

It is said that at 4 1/2 yeas old, a child is learning several new words every day. Mine is no exception. Her vocabulary is exploding and she is working hard to understand new words and to grasp colloquialisms. Sometimes, words get mixed up and she ends up being inadvertently hilarious. My recent favorite flubbed up phrase was, “in a jiffy.”

Rushing to get ready one morning, my husband noticed Elsa’s hands were dirty and needed to be washed. Knowing that we were in a hurry she ran to the bathroom to use the sink while saying, “Don’t worry, I’ll just do it in a gypsy.”

__________

The English language is tough. I have heard that it is the hardest one to learn as a non-native speaker. Watching my daughter struggle with words that sound the same but mean 45 different things just reinforces the fact that English is hard. Something as simple as “tomato sauce” can become kind of funny when a four year old misspeaks.

While making dinner Elsa offered to help. “Can I scoop the potato sauce on?”

__________

Other times, her words come out perfectly and defy her age.

Today was a chilly February day. We are two days post-Nor’easter and decided that cabin fever was no longer fun. We bundled up and headed out to lunch. After settling at our table and receiving our food, we started eating.

Two bites into her soup and Elsa said to me, “Ah! Nothing like warm soup on a cold day.” She then picked up her glass of lemonade, motioned for me to “cheers” with her, and said, “To lunch!”

She took a sip, smiled and exclaimed, “Nothing like lemonade to go with your warm soup!! I love you, momma. You are the best mommy ever.”

__________

And, other times, when you don’t have the right words, just make them up.

To emphasize just how serious she is about not doing something again, Elsa will say, “Never, ever, ever, shever….”

__________

Fly on the Wall

This post was part of the Fly On The Wall writing challenge. A group of bloggers all write and post on the same day, sharing snippets of their lives for you to read, as though you were a fly on our wall. Please do check out the other writers. They are an amazing group of bloggers.

http://BakingInATornado.com                                Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/           Stacy Sews and Schools

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                     Battered Hope

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                              Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                  The Momisodes

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                    Someone Else’s Genius

http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/    Eileen’s Perpetually Busy

http://dinoheromommy.com/                    Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.menopausalmom.com/          Menopausal Mother

http://gndisney.wordpress.com                        Disneyland in Kentucky

http://www.gomamao.com                               Go Mama O

 

OutOfTheMouthsOfBabes

 

One Day Goes Android!

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logo wtih Icon

Remember when I told you all about the One Day app that I love so much? (If not, check it out HERE) Well, I have great news! They have released the Android version!

You can get it HERE!

I really love this app. I have been playing around with it and making videos of my girls. It is pretty much fool proof and great for people like me who get all frozen in front of a camera.

Now, everyone can enjoy this free app. Android and iPhones unite!

450x450_OneDay_Blog_Now_Available (1)

 

The Cold Never Bothered Me…

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The Cold Never Bothered Me

I like to think that I choose to live in New England.

 

Then, February hits.

 

I start second guessing this “choice”. It is usually sometime around the second week in February that I take to my laptop and search for jobs for my husband in exotic locales. I cyber-hunt for properties and peruse neighborhoods.

 

I dream of bright, warm days, my toes in the sand and the sun on my face, the smell of dinner being cooked on the grill wafting through the air…

 

Then, we are hit with another storm. The electricity goes off and my daydreams are interrupted by a cold, dark house. The sound of snowblowers and shovels scrapping fill the air.

 

It is the dead of winter in New England.

 

I try to make the best of it. Extended snuggles in bed make snow days more tolerable. The warm glow of candles turn a power outage into a cozy evening. Comfort food being slow cooked all day makes our house small amazing. Little details that help to smooth out the roughness of being buried under feet and feet of snow.

 

Soon, crocuses will push through the snow. Ice will be replaced by mud and the sun will feel a whole lot warmer. Thoughts of a tropical zip code will fade as I hear birds singing outside.

 

My choice to live here will be easy for me to understand as I swing in my hammock that is strung between the maple and walnut trees in my backyard. It will be obvious, as the landscape turns green and lush. It will be a no-brainer while sitting on the sandy shores of the lake.

 

But, right now, as I mop my floor of the salty dirt sludge that falls from heavy winter boots, I wonder if I would get just as annoyed if I had to sweep sand of the floor every day. For the sake of my sanity I will allow myself to believe it would.

 

I will sing “Let It Go” at the top of my lungs, emphasizing the line, “the cold never bothered me anyway” until I truly believe it. Or, until my husband scores that tropical job and we catch the first flight out of the tundra we currently call home.

 

__________

Use Your Words

This post was part of the Use Your Word group writing challenge. Each participating blogger submits words to be secretly assigned to another blogger. Each word or phrase must be used in an original post. No one knows who got what words or how they will use them, until now.

 

My word were:

electricity ~ candles ~ grill ~ dark ~ bright ~ hear

They were submitted by Baking In A Tornado

 

Please check out the other participating bloggers and see how the used their words.

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                                 Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com                        The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

http://themomisodes.com                                            The Momisodes

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                   Battered Hope

http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/                  Eileen’s Perpetually Busy

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/                        Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                            Someone Else’s Genius

http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com/                                    Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

http://www.southernbellecharm.com                            Southern Belle Charm

 

The Cold Never Bothered Me

 

Before

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before

“You know, you never really go back to what you were before having kids, even you skinny girls. It is never the same.”

 

I was walking through the store with my three month old. An older lady walked right up to us and demanded to see the baby. She declared her perfect then gave me the above words of wisdom.

 

I smiled politely and thanked her. I picked up my pace and walked away.

 

“It is never the same.”

 

Her words echoed around in my head while I snuggled my baby and looked at paint for the bathroom. I bounced her in the Ergo and looked down at her sleeping face.

 

How could I be the same? How could anything ever be the same as it was before?

 

My body was different. Very different. I had curves where none existed a few years ago and other places had flattened and softened. My body have grown life and given birth, twice. It had experienced lots of loss as well. It was nothing like it had been.

 

I am different. Entirely. My capacity for love and patience and worry is deeper and wider is much more vast than it had ever been. I know true happiness and immense grief.

 

No, I am not the same as I was before. I have grown and changed in ways I had never imagined.

 

I grabbed my paint and headed to the checkout. The baby sighed and shifted, nuzzling in closer. The lady was right, I thought. I would never go back to what I was before having kids.

 

I would never be who I used to be before. I am completely content with that. I don’t want before. I want now. Right now.

 

before

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Have something to confess? Head over to the More Than Cheese and Beer Facebook page and let it all out. Interested in participating in next week’s Confession? Click HERE for all the details.

MoreThanCheeseandBeer

My Fellow Americans

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My Fellow Americans

February 6th is Ronald Reagan’s birthday! If you were elected president what would your top three priorities be once you got into the Oval Office?

Submitted by: http://thelieberfamily.com

 

 

My fellow Americans, I have to be honest with you, before I get into this topic. It is 9:01am on the day that this post is due to go live at 10am. I am half dressed with my four year old running amok and my three month old perched on my lap, fascinated with the screen of my laptop. I am supposed to be leaving the house in thirty minutes and the only one of us who is dressed is the one who is most likely to take off her clothes and don a tutu and fairy wings. I am just getting over a sickness that may have broken records and time has somehow escaped me. How can it be the second Friday in February? I don’t like that an already short month is flying by at breakneck speeds.

 

Somehow this Secret Subject Swap is turning into a Fly On The Wall post. Oops.

 

So, today is President Reagan’s birthday. He is the first president I remember being aware of. Because of that I have a fondness for him. I know little of his politics but that doesn’t matter much to me.

 

I try to stay out of politics as much as possible. I stay educated but don’t like debating or talking them. To me, it is like arguing if rain is wet or damp. Same thing, different way of saying it. You know?

 

If I were to become president the first thing I would do would be to resign. I have no place in the White House. None. I have no interest in being there or having that kind of stress/power/headache in my life. I am also a TERRIBLE liar and feel like politics may not be the best career option for me. I also tend to agree/disagree with bits and pieces of every party. That makes for a terrible Democrat or Republican or Independent or Green Party or Insert whatever random and obscure third party here.

 

My second order of business would be to run and hide. I do not want to live in a country that would elect me as their leader. Seriously.

 

My third order of business, or maybe it should be my first, right before resigning, would be to declare health care to be accessible for everyone. Really accessible. Not just for the very poor and very rich but for the middle class. The folks who make too much money for assistance but not enough to actually afford a $1200/family per month premium. (This may or may not be related to my recent illness and $200 prescription……)

 

I can often be found on my soapbox (or juicebox as it may be) trying to educate and change perceptions. I believe firmly in what I believe in. I have conviction. I do not, however, have any urge to jump into the political playground.

 

So, in conclusion, you will not see a “Michelle Stephens for President” campaign anytime soon. Or ever. I would rather be bossed around by my two tiny children than by a senate full of angry adults any day.

 

“Thank you, God bless you, and God bless this country we love.” -President Obama SOTU 2015

 

 

This post was a part of the monthly Secret Subject Swap writing challenge. Each blogger submits a topic/prompt/question to be assigned secretly to another blogger. We have no idea who got which subject, until today. Please enjoy all the posts by visiting my beautiful blogging buddies below.

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                         Baking In A Tornado

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com                      The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com                          Spatulas on Parade

http://dinoheromommy.com/                            Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes

http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com                                Climaxed

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/                      Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://www.southernbellecharm.com                      Southern Belle Charm

http://thelieberfamily.com                                        The Lieber Family

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                             Someone Else’s Genius

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com                      Evil Joy Speaks

http://www.gndisney.wordpress.com                             Disneyland in Kentucky

http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com/                                  Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

 

My Fellow Americans

January Funny Friday

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Funny Friday  150 X 150

Today’s post is December’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here’s today’s picture, it was submitted by Baking In A Tornado.

ff-January1. Once a couch potato has reached adolescence, you can replant and grow your own. Just place on couch and cover in cushions. You should see new sprouts in 4-6 weeks. Water sparingly.

2. It is a new form of meditation. Be one with the sofa.

3. “I am invisible because I can’t see you.”

4. This is what is looks like when you wipe out while couch surfing.

5. When left to it’s own devices, sofas have been know to eat teenagers in one bite. You have been warned.

 

Think these are funny? Mediocre at best? Check out these other bloggers who will actually make you laugh!

Stacy Sews and Schools (http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com)

The Bergham’s Life Chronicles (http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com/)

Follow me home  (http://followmehome.shellybean.com)

Baking In A Tornado (http://www.BakingInATornado.com)

Someone Else’s Genius (http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com)

Confessions of a part-time working mom (http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/)

The Momisodes (http://themomisodes.com)

Sanity Waiting to Happen (http://www.angelaweight.com)

Spatulas on Parade  (http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/)

Cluttered Genius (http://www.clutteredgenius.com)

Eileen’s Perpetually Busy (http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/)

Whimsy and Flies

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Whimsy and Flies

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“Momma! Daddy! Look! I found the machine that makes clouds!!”

________________________________________

On any given day I am carrying a metric crap-ton of stuff. Kid stuff, baby stuff, my stuff. I cram all this stuff into a moderatly sized diaper bag and hope I didn’t forget anything.

When I have to run into a store or in the rare moments I find myself sans kids, I have two choices. Either lug the overstuffed bag in with me or carry my keys, phone, and wallet and hope I don’t absentmindedly set them down somewhere and lose them. (This may have happened to me A FRIEND once or twice before.) I decided I was going to buy myself a nice new tiny bag for these very instances. Something small to fit inside the giant one.

I shopped and searched for the perfect one. I finally came across a pink leather bag with a cross body strap. Perfect! I was so excited I called my husband to tell him about it. (I don’t get out much.) I explained that it was basically a glorified wallet with a strap. My technology loving husband immediately understood.

“Oh! like the phablet [phone/tablet hybrid] of the bag world.”

Exactly.

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As we were getting ready to leave for the day it hit me for the millionth time. I have TWO daughters. Sometimes it feels so surreal. This time, I turned to my oldest and asked her if she could believe that she FINALLY had a sister. Her reply was nothing short of amazing.

“Yes, Momma, it is SO amazing. I wished for a sister for Christmas [last year]. I asked Santa over and over again. I thought he would bring me one. But guess what, Momma? YOU brought her instead. Not Santa, YOU. I just can’t believe it. You are magic. It was like magic. Now, I have a sister.”

________________________________________

The four year old was all tucked in and peacefully drifting off to sleep, or so I thought. I walked by her bedroom door and heard her arguing and thrashing about. I decided to peek in and check on her.

“Everything ok?” I asked peering through the darkness.

“I…grrrrr….ugggghhhh….rrrrrrrr…..”

“Uh, do you need help, Peanut?” I offered.

“Yes! I am trying to sleep but my blankets just wanna fight with me!”

And just like that I added blanket negotiations and peace keeping to my resume.

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Every morning my four year old comes bounding into my room to say hi. Every morning I ask her to make me breakfast. Every morning she makes the excuse that she is “too little.” The other morning I asked her to make me coffee.

“I can’t! I am just a kid!” she exclaimed. Then she paused, thought and said, “Oh! Wait!” before scampering off.

My husband and I smiled and continued our conversation. A few moments later my husband looked slightly panicked as he said, “I think she might actually be making you coffee!!”

She knows how to use the Keurig. Thankfully we keep it unplugged.

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Fly on the Wall

This post was part of the Fly On The Wall writing challenge. A group of bloggers all write and post on the same day, sharing snippets of their lives for you to read, as though you were a fly on our wall. Please do check out the other writers. They are an amazing group of bloggers.

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                   Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                              Battered Hope

http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/          Eileen’s Perpetually Busy

http://www.gomamao.com                                  Go Mama O

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                       Someone Else’s Genius

http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com                            The Sadder But Wiser Girl

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                             Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                       The Momisodes

One Day

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oneday

This post is sponsored by the One Day app.

 

Time is bittersweet. On the hard days it can’t go fast enough and on the good days it seems to fly. My girls are growing up faster than I would like. I wish I could freeze them in this moment just for a little longer.

We take photos of them all the time. We capture moments that someday we will look back on with happy tears and memories. The details of our day to day lives will fall into soft focus through the lens of our camera and the passing of time.

Videos freeze those details. They preserve the mispronounced words and shy stutters. I can’t take enough videos of my tiny ladies.

Recently I was introduced to the One Day app (click here to download). It is exactly what I have been looking for to document those fleeting moments.

Currently just for iOS but coming to Android in February, it is SUPER easy to make a video time capsule of sorts. Each moment is prompted by a question and gives you the option to re-record moments. Genius.

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I decided to interview Elsa, our resident four-year-old and chatty pants. Being sat down and interviewed made her a little shy but after a few takes, we ended up with something pretty awesome.

 

The app is set up to easily record the entire family. They have prompts for babies all the way up to adults.

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Each age group has several sets of questions leaving potential for a multitude of videos. AND they are always updating with new themes and questions so the possibilities really are endless.

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We had so much fun playing with this app. I tried to find just one thing I wasn’t thrilled with so you all wouldn’t think this was just a shameless plug, but you know what? I couldn’t. I really do love this app THAT much. I plan on making many more videos, keep any eye out for them!

 

And if the FREE app wasn’t awesome enough, One Day is also doing a $150 Visa gift card to one lucky duck. Enter below, it ends February 12, 2015.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

oneday