March Funny Friday

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Funny Friday  150 X 150

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

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Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by Confessions Of A Part-Time Working Mom

ff-March

1. What happens when I let my 4 year old bring whatever she wants while running errands.

2. “….But the fuel economy is awesome!”

 

3. I used to have this car.

 

4. (Seriously, I USED TO HAVE THIS CAR.)

 

5. What do you mean “junk in the trunk”?

 

Thanks for laughing at with me!!

 

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Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:

The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

Follow me home

Baking In A Tornado

Someone Else’s Genius

Confessions of a part-time working mom

The Momisodes

Sanity Waiting to Happen

Spatulas on Parade

Cluttered Genius

Stacy Sews and Schools

People Don’t Eat Enough Fudge

 

Funny Friday  150 X 150

 

And The Fly Marches On

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IMG_7490

March brings with it the promise of warmer weather, spring, and, most importantly, GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!

Last week while running errands I saw two girls holding a sign outside a shopping plaza advertising a cookie booth. I instructed my husband to turn in so I could buy ALL THE COOKIES.

“I find myself stalking little girls and their delicious cookies every March,” I said to him.

“That isn’t creepy or anything,” he replied with a tinge of sarcasm.

“YES IT IS!” We hear from the back seat, where our four year old was listening to our conversation. “I think it is creepy! I am a little girl!!”

IMG_7253

 

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“Can we go to that town I really like?” my four year old asked as we were driving through said town.

“We ARE in that town,” I answered.

“Oh!” she giggled, “I misunderspoke!”

 

__________

My four year old is really into being a “real mommy” lately. More specifically, she wants to be me.

This is beyond touching and makes me tear up every time she says things like, “Look daddy! I am a beautiful mommy just like my momma!”

It also has made me incredibly aware of everything I do and say. Especially at my most frustrated, when my patience is lacking. I know whatever I do will be reflected back in her play.

Watching her as she nurtures her babies, nursing them, singing to them, holding them, it makes me overwhelmed.

Imitation truly is the most sincere form of flattery. I am so lucky to be able to be her momma.

IMG_7138

 

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“Daddy? Are you drinking your beard?” our 4-year-old asks.

“Yes, I am drinking a beer,” my husband answers.

“You are drinking your BEARD?”

“Wait, what? No! Beer. I am drinking a BEER!”

In giggle hysterics, “YOU SHOULDN’T DRINK YOUR BEARD! EWWWW!!! HAHAHAHA!!!”

My husband sighed, shook his head and continued to drink his beard beer.

IMG_7491

 

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The baby laughs now. A lot. Usually at her sister. I can almost not take it. Is too cute a thing? Can it be harmful? I feel like I may be in danger. (You have been warned, the video is SO cute.)

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Fly on the Wall

This post was part of the Fly On The Wall writing challenge. A group of bloggers all write and post on the same day, sharing snippets of their lives for you to read, as though you were a fly on our wall. Please do check out the other writers. They are an amazing group of bloggers.

 

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                   Battered Hope

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                  Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                        The Momisodes

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                            Someone Else’s Genius

http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com                        The Sadder But Wiser Girl

http://dinoheromommy.com/                            Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://gndisney.wordpress.com                                Disneyland in Kentucky

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                      Searching for Sanity

http://www.gomamao.com                                      Go Mama O

 

IMG_7490

Diagnosis: Spring Fever

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Spring Fever

I am so done. I am losing my mind. I am not sure how much more I can take. I am waving my white flag; I am yelling “UNCLE!”

I am ready for spring.

As a native New Englander, I am under no illusions that winter here is anything but rough. It is cold and snowy mixed with ice and the shortest of short days. I get it. I even look forward to it each fall.

Then, February hits, more specifically February with two very small children. Winter is no longer fun. It is far too cold, the snow has developed an impermeable shell of ice, and we have lost one of every pair of mittens we started the year with.

Are you there, spring? It’s me, Michelle.

Some days I find myself gazing out the window at the great white swath that is our back yard. A few months ago there was a picnic table, sand box, and swing set. Now there are three marshmallowy looking lumps. Cold, unrecognizable, lumps.

If I squint one eye, close the other, and turn upside down, I can almost picture grass and trees with leaves. Almost.

I really hate complaining about the weather. We live in a beautiful section of the country and are able to experience all four seasons. I like to think that we chose to live here. That we could leave if we wanted to. But then, February. February makes me feel trapped and cold and cranky as all get out.

I recently heard on NPR that a study suggests that people who complain tend to live longer. If that is the case, and this frigid weather continues, I may just live forever.

Our four year old doesn’t complain. She just copes with the cabin fever by dressing up, pretending she is someone and somewhere else. She dances around our house in elaborate costumes singing songs at the top of her lungs. She creates entire performances for us to watch.

It helps make being stuck inside a little easier to bear. It also gives me an excuse to wear a tutu and sing along with her.

We try to leave the house. We try to get out, go to local children’s museums, playgroups, even just the store to meet up with friends. We do it to remember that we are not the only people who inhabit this arctic tundra. The process of dressing, however, is enough to exhaust me for the day. Base layers, followed by sweaters, followed by outerwear, followed by boots, followed by hates and mittens and scarves.

Have you ever tried to dress a four month old in enough layers to prevent frost bite but not so many that they get a heat rash? Imagine trying to put a wool sweater on an angry octopus whose sole mission is to eat everything that comes near its face.

You get the idea.

When we arrive at our destination I am ready for a nap, the four year old has to pee and the baby is hungry. The four year old won’t use the bathroom with her coat on and I am so layered that I am afraid that if I even tried to nurse the baby I may end up losing her between layers of down and wool.

Oh, winter. Uncle.

But, somehow, we survive. We make it through the shortest, coldest, month of the year. The sun starts to shine a little longer, the air starts to warm a few degrees. The dripping of the eaves indicates that in a few weeks those white lumps in our yard will slowly morph back into our swing set, picnic table, and sandbox.

Eventually we will be able to shed some layers and get outside. I will be able to feed the baby and not lose her in swaths of fabric. The four year old will probably continue to dress up and sing her songs but come spring, she will be able to perform al fresco with feathered back-up singers.

Soon, I will stop complaining about the ice and the cold. I will let the sun shine on my face, breathe in the warm breeze and I will move on to complaining about the mud and the pollen and the pesky mosquitoes

 

Spring Fever

February Funny Friday

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Funny Friday  150 X 150

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by Sanity Waiting to Happen     http://www.angelaweight.com

ff-February

1. Did someone say this was the way to the cattic?

2. I am pretty sure I stored the other 8 lives up here somewhere……

3. Stair master.

4. “You go on ahead, imma just wait here.”

5. Sorry these weren’t very funny. I am more of a dog person.

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:

The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

Follow me home

Baking In A Tornado

Someone Else’s Genius

Confessions of a part-time working mom

The Momisodes

Sanity Waiting to Happen

Spatulas on Parade

Cluttered Genius

Stacy Sews and Schools

People Don’t Eat Enough Fudge

Love and Debris

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LoveAndDebris

My small children are asleep, silence fills our home. But, if you lean in, listen carefully, you can hear the cacophony of our day. You can hear the laughter and the tears. You can see the smiles. You can see that we came screeching into bedtime covered in debris.

Love and debris.

Have you ever wanted to freeze a moment? Wanted to be able to access those few seconds and gather strength from them?

I may not be ready for the silence to take over. I may not be ready for the nights to become my own. So, for now, I embrace the noise. I find the tiny moments of calm and silence and use them to recharge me for the rest of the beautiful chaos.

Head over to Mamlode.com or click HERE to read more about my tiny moments of tranquility amidst the feral nights of having two young children.

LoveAndDebris

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

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OutOfTheMouthsOfBabes

It is said that at 4 1/2 yeas old, a child is learning several new words every day. Mine is no exception. Her vocabulary is exploding and she is working hard to understand new words and to grasp colloquialisms. Sometimes, words get mixed up and she ends up being inadvertently hilarious. My recent favorite flubbed up phrase was, “in a jiffy.”

Rushing to get ready one morning, my husband noticed Elsa’s hands were dirty and needed to be washed. Knowing that we were in a hurry she ran to the bathroom to use the sink while saying, “Don’t worry, I’ll just do it in a gypsy.”

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The English language is tough. I have heard that it is the hardest one to learn as a non-native speaker. Watching my daughter struggle with words that sound the same but mean 45 different things just reinforces the fact that English is hard. Something as simple as “tomato sauce” can become kind of funny when a four year old misspeaks.

While making dinner Elsa offered to help. “Can I scoop the potato sauce on?”

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Other times, her words come out perfectly and defy her age.

Today was a chilly February day. We are two days post-Nor’easter and decided that cabin fever was no longer fun. We bundled up and headed out to lunch. After settling at our table and receiving our food, we started eating.

Two bites into her soup and Elsa said to me, “Ah! Nothing like warm soup on a cold day.” She then picked up her glass of lemonade, motioned for me to “cheers” with her, and said, “To lunch!”

She took a sip, smiled and exclaimed, “Nothing like lemonade to go with your warm soup!! I love you, momma. You are the best mommy ever.”

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And, other times, when you don’t have the right words, just make them up.

To emphasize just how serious she is about not doing something again, Elsa will say, “Never, ever, ever, shever….”

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Fly on the Wall

This post was part of the Fly On The Wall writing challenge. A group of bloggers all write and post on the same day, sharing snippets of their lives for you to read, as though you were a fly on our wall. Please do check out the other writers. They are an amazing group of bloggers.

http://BakingInATornado.com                                Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/           Stacy Sews and Schools

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                     Battered Hope

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                              Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                  The Momisodes

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                    Someone Else’s Genius

http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/    Eileen’s Perpetually Busy

http://dinoheromommy.com/                    Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.menopausalmom.com/          Menopausal Mother

http://gndisney.wordpress.com                        Disneyland in Kentucky

http://www.gomamao.com                               Go Mama O

 

OutOfTheMouthsOfBabes

 

One Day Goes Android!

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logo wtih Icon

Remember when I told you all about the One Day app that I love so much? (If not, check it out HERE) Well, I have great news! They have released the Android version!

You can get it HERE!

I really love this app. I have been playing around with it and making videos of my girls. It is pretty much fool proof and great for people like me who get all frozen in front of a camera.

Now, everyone can enjoy this free app. Android and iPhones unite!

450x450_OneDay_Blog_Now_Available (1)

 

The Cold Never Bothered Me…

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The Cold Never Bothered Me

I like to think that I choose to live in New England.

 

Then, February hits.

 

I start second guessing this “choice”. It is usually sometime around the second week in February that I take to my laptop and search for jobs for my husband in exotic locales. I cyber-hunt for properties and peruse neighborhoods.

 

I dream of bright, warm days, my toes in the sand and the sun on my face, the smell of dinner being cooked on the grill wafting through the air…

 

Then, we are hit with another storm. The electricity goes off and my daydreams are interrupted by a cold, dark house. The sound of snowblowers and shovels scrapping fill the air.

 

It is the dead of winter in New England.

 

I try to make the best of it. Extended snuggles in bed make snow days more tolerable. The warm glow of candles turn a power outage into a cozy evening. Comfort food being slow cooked all day makes our house small amazing. Little details that help to smooth out the roughness of being buried under feet and feet of snow.

 

Soon, crocuses will push through the snow. Ice will be replaced by mud and the sun will feel a whole lot warmer. Thoughts of a tropical zip code will fade as I hear birds singing outside.

 

My choice to live here will be easy for me to understand as I swing in my hammock that is strung between the maple and walnut trees in my backyard. It will be obvious, as the landscape turns green and lush. It will be a no-brainer while sitting on the sandy shores of the lake.

 

But, right now, as I mop my floor of the salty dirt sludge that falls from heavy winter boots, I wonder if I would get just as annoyed if I had to sweep sand of the floor every day. For the sake of my sanity I will allow myself to believe it would.

 

I will sing “Let It Go” at the top of my lungs, emphasizing the line, “the cold never bothered me anyway” until I truly believe it. Or, until my husband scores that tropical job and we catch the first flight out of the tundra we currently call home.

 

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Use Your Words

This post was part of the Use Your Word group writing challenge. Each participating blogger submits words to be secretly assigned to another blogger. Each word or phrase must be used in an original post. No one knows who got what words or how they will use them, until now.

 

My word were:

electricity ~ candles ~ grill ~ dark ~ bright ~ hear

They were submitted by Baking In A Tornado

 

Please check out the other participating bloggers and see how the used their words.

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                                 Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com                        The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

http://themomisodes.com                                            The Momisodes

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                   Battered Hope

http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/                  Eileen’s Perpetually Busy

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/                        Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                            Someone Else’s Genius

http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com/                                    Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

http://www.southernbellecharm.com                            Southern Belle Charm

 

The Cold Never Bothered Me

 

Before

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before

“You know, you never really go back to what you were before having kids, even you skinny girls. It is never the same.”

 

I was walking through the store with my three month old. An older lady walked right up to us and demanded to see the baby. She declared her perfect then gave me the above words of wisdom.

 

I smiled politely and thanked her. I picked up my pace and walked away.

 

“It is never the same.”

 

Her words echoed around in my head while I snuggled my baby and looked at paint for the bathroom. I bounced her in the Ergo and looked down at her sleeping face.

 

How could I be the same? How could anything ever be the same as it was before?

 

My body was different. Very different. I had curves where none existed a few years ago and other places had flattened and softened. My body have grown life and given birth, twice. It had experienced lots of loss as well. It was nothing like it had been.

 

I am different. Entirely. My capacity for love and patience and worry is deeper and wider is much more vast than it had ever been. I know true happiness and immense grief.

 

No, I am not the same as I was before. I have grown and changed in ways I had never imagined.

 

I grabbed my paint and headed to the checkout. The baby sighed and shifted, nuzzling in closer. The lady was right, I thought. I would never go back to what I was before having kids.

 

I would never be who I used to be before. I am completely content with that. I don’t want before. I want now. Right now.

 

before

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Have something to confess? Head over to the More Than Cheese and Beer Facebook page and let it all out. Interested in participating in next week’s Confession? Click HERE for all the details.

MoreThanCheeseandBeer

My Fellow Americans

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My Fellow Americans

February 6th is Ronald Reagan’s birthday! If you were elected president what would your top three priorities be once you got into the Oval Office?

Submitted by: http://thelieberfamily.com

 

 

My fellow Americans, I have to be honest with you, before I get into this topic. It is 9:01am on the day that this post is due to go live at 10am. I am half dressed with my four year old running amok and my three month old perched on my lap, fascinated with the screen of my laptop. I am supposed to be leaving the house in thirty minutes and the only one of us who is dressed is the one who is most likely to take off her clothes and don a tutu and fairy wings. I am just getting over a sickness that may have broken records and time has somehow escaped me. How can it be the second Friday in February? I don’t like that an already short month is flying by at breakneck speeds.

 

Somehow this Secret Subject Swap is turning into a Fly On The Wall post. Oops.

 

So, today is President Reagan’s birthday. He is the first president I remember being aware of. Because of that I have a fondness for him. I know little of his politics but that doesn’t matter much to me.

 

I try to stay out of politics as much as possible. I stay educated but don’t like debating or talking them. To me, it is like arguing if rain is wet or damp. Same thing, different way of saying it. You know?

 

If I were to become president the first thing I would do would be to resign. I have no place in the White House. None. I have no interest in being there or having that kind of stress/power/headache in my life. I am also a TERRIBLE liar and feel like politics may not be the best career option for me. I also tend to agree/disagree with bits and pieces of every party. That makes for a terrible Democrat or Republican or Independent or Green Party or Insert whatever random and obscure third party here.

 

My second order of business would be to run and hide. I do not want to live in a country that would elect me as their leader. Seriously.

 

My third order of business, or maybe it should be my first, right before resigning, would be to declare health care to be accessible for everyone. Really accessible. Not just for the very poor and very rich but for the middle class. The folks who make too much money for assistance but not enough to actually afford a $1200/family per month premium. (This may or may not be related to my recent illness and $200 prescription……)

 

I can often be found on my soapbox (or juicebox as it may be) trying to educate and change perceptions. I believe firmly in what I believe in. I have conviction. I do not, however, have any urge to jump into the political playground.

 

So, in conclusion, you will not see a “Michelle Stephens for President” campaign anytime soon. Or ever. I would rather be bossed around by my two tiny children than by a senate full of angry adults any day.

 

“Thank you, God bless you, and God bless this country we love.” -President Obama SOTU 2015

 

 

This post was a part of the monthly Secret Subject Swap writing challenge. Each blogger submits a topic/prompt/question to be assigned secretly to another blogger. We have no idea who got which subject, until today. Please enjoy all the posts by visiting my beautiful blogging buddies below.

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                         Baking In A Tornado

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com                      The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com                          Spatulas on Parade

http://dinoheromommy.com/                            Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes

http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com                                Climaxed

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/                      Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://www.southernbellecharm.com                      Southern Belle Charm

http://thelieberfamily.com                                        The Lieber Family

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                             Someone Else’s Genius

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com                      Evil Joy Speaks

http://www.gndisney.wordpress.com                             Disneyland in Kentucky

http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com/                                  Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

 

My Fellow Americans